The Kidnapper Chronicles
by VeroniqueC
Summary: Hope this is okay! The boys of Twilight have it coming to them when two obsessive fangirls try to kidnap each of them... But fate does not seem to be on the girls' sides.
1. Entry 1: Bubblewrapped

**(NO TWILIGHT STARS WERE HARMED IN THE WRITING OF THIS STORY…. Well… not PHYSICALLY anyway…. COUGH!)**

**Entry 1: Bubblewrapped **

**(Objective: Robert Pattinson)**

"Are you ready?" Courtney whispered into Meg's ear as they stood outside the hotel restaurant doors.

"As ready as I'll ever be! Let's do this."

Courtney backed the dolly up and rolled it through the open doors of the near empty restaurant then up to the table that contained one very handsome young copper-haired man. He looked up from his meal and his eyes widened with a keen interest.

"What in the bloody hell is this about?!" He asked with a concerned look in his face.

"Oh… I'm just taking precautionary measures that's all." Courtney said leaning against the dolly.

"From what, pray tell?"

"Her," She said pointing at Meg. "She's a bit clumsy when she gets nervous."

"So… you decided to wrap her in bubble wrap and push her on a dolly…?"

Courtney simply nodded.

"I LOVE YOU BABY! And if it's quite all right, I need you baby, to fill the lonely nights…" Meg started to sing at the top of her lungs.

"Oh, aahahaha…" Courtney laughed maniacally, patting Meg on the head. "She just loves you sooooo much!" Robert's eyes widened this time with fear instead of concern. " AND SO DO I!!" She growled as she lifted his wine bottle and hit him over the head with it. "QUICK MEG! OFF THE DOLLY!"

Megan hops off the dolly then falls over onto the ground with an "OOMPH! Courtney! A little help?!"

"Right sorry!" Courtney exclaimed, making sure Rob was steadily slumped over the table. She ran over and unrolled Megan from the bubble wrap and then helped her to stand. "Okay! Now help me!"

The girls worked together to pick Robert up from the table. "Sh!t! He is heavy." Megan grunted as she took his feet.

"I know! Who knew?!" Courtney groaned as she took him under the shoulders.

They quickly laid him down on the unrolled bubble wrap and then worked to roll him up in it. Once they got him completely wrapped they hoisted him up and leaned him against the dolly.

"Okay! We got him! GO!" Megan called out as she looked around to make sure nobody was watching.

"Okay!" Courtney called out as she ran ahead holding Rob's shoulder in one hand as she maneuvered him to the doors of the restaurant. Her triumphant giggle was suddenly cut short when a tall, muscular figure unknowingly stepped into her path. She pulled up short, grabbing the bubble wrapped man before he teetered onto the floor.

"Oh hell yes!!" Meg exclaimed as she ran backwards past Courtney, not realizing that she had come to a halt. She was suddenly thrown off balance as she backed into something solid. She bounced off and turned around. "Oh…. Heeey…"

Courtney quickly darted in front of Robert's body as she realized it was Kellan. "Hey… you…" She said nervously.

"Good evening ladies." Kellan said with pure curiosity in his eyes. He caught sight of an odd figure being obscured from his view by the fidgety females in front of him.

Meg took a couple of steps back. "Hey…"

"Uh… what you got there?" He asked trying, very easily for his tall stature, to peer over their heads.

"Um… uh…" Courtney muttered, jumping up in front of his face, waving her arms frantically. "YOOOOU DIIIDN'T SEEEE ANNNYYYYTHIIIIINGG!! RUN MEG! GO! GO! GO!"

Meg quickly grabbed a hold of the dolly and made a run for the revolving doors, but a misstep caused her to careen into the glass pane of the hotel, just beside the doors.

Courtney and Kellan stared in shock as Meg, the dolly, and the bubble wrapped boy bounced off the glass and onto the floor. "WTF MEG?! DO I NEED TO RE-WRAP YOU?!" Courtney called as Meg looked up from the ground.

"Wha…" Kellan started as he turned back to face Courtney. But her hand across his face stopped his words short.

Courtney's face fell in a look of shock. "OH MY GOD!" She exclaimed. "I am so sorry!" She turned to run off, but quickly turned back and planted a kiss right on Kellan's still shocked face. Then sprinted off to help Meg steady herself and put Rob back on the dolly.

"OKAY! LET'S BLOW THIS POPSICLE STAND!" Meg called out with a laugh as they tried to steady him.

"Oh my God!" Courtney laughed. "Did you HONESTLY just say that?"

"Yes I did!" Meg laughed.

"HAHA! OKAY! OKAY! LET'S SKIDDADDLE!"

The girls tripped over the carpet and had to fumble to steady Rob again as they heard another voice behind them. "Was that Rob… on a dolly… wrapped in bubble wrap?" Courtney turned to see Kellan's look of shock and confusion as Jackson walked up pointing in their direction.

She quickly left Meg's, now steady side and ran over to Jackson and Kellan. "YOU DIDN'T SEE SH!T!!" She yelled as she slapped Jackson across the face. Shock crossed all three of their faces. "OH SH!T! I'm so sorry!!" She quickly kissed him on the mouth.

"COURTNEY! WTF?! Stop kissing them all and help me push him! He's HEAVY!" Meg screamed as she struggled to push Rob across the carpet and then out the door.

"SORRY! SORRY!" Courtney called as she waved delicately at the boys, while walking backwards. Not watching where she was going she slammed into the same glass panes and fell face first onto the carpet. "OOOF!" She quickly rolled over and hopped up like a panther. "I'M GOOD!" She bellowed, as she quickly spun around… and into the window. "SH!T!"

Megan watched in amazement from outside as her friend tried to gather herself. With a roll of her eyes she quickly pushed Robert around the corner and into an alley and hid him behind a dumpster. "I have to do EVERYTHING around here." She mumbled as she ran back into the hotel and helped a staggering Courtney out the doors.

"I can't feel my face." She mumbled as she was half dragged out into the night air.

"It's ok, sweetie. Neither can Joan Rivers…"

Courtney's loud laugh filled the dark alley as they rounded the corner. "What'd you do with the pretty?!"

"I hid him over here, see?" She said as she wheeled Rob out from behind the dumpster. She smiled wide as Courtney clapped her amazement. She and Courtney began to scurry and push Rob down the alley when she heard footsteps besides their own. She turned her head to see Kellan and Jackson lurking a ways behind.

Courtney turned her head in the same direction. "Sh!!t… Um… uh… QUICK! Hand me that thinga-ma-bob right there!" She said pointing at some debris next to another dumpster.

Megan held on to the dolly and leaned over to pick up a dilapidated object and thrust it into Courtney's waiting hand. "This?"

She looked down at the broken contraption only to see it was an umbrella, only consisting of wire and a handle. "No! The other thing! Here… you just hold this!" She noticed that the boys approach had shortened the distance. She quickly leaned down and picked up an empty beer bottle. "Do you think this'll work?!"

Megan's eyes fell to the lone bottle and looked back up at Courtney with incredulous eyes. "I'm gonna go with no."

With a sigh, Courtney hummed the bottle back behind them, the screech of a cat filled the alley. Her eyes searched the ground vehemently. "I'VE GOT IT!"

"WHAT?!" Megan asked, anxiety coating her voice.

"Gimme that… uh… stick!"

Megan reached down and picked up the familiar object. "It's not a stick Courtney. It's called a baseball bat…"

The muffled sounds of laughter echoed from the boys who just stood only a few feet away from them.

"Oh… I KNEW THAT! It just… really looks like a stick. I mean seriously?! Who came up with the name 'bat'?"

"Um COURTNEY!" Megan whispered harshly. "We ARE trying to kidnap someone here…"

Courtney looked up from her rant. "OH! RIGHT!" She said, grabbing the bat from Megan. "AYE! AVAST!" She cried pointing the bat at Kellan and Jackson.

Megan's eyes widened in shock, along with the boys, as she pointed the bat at them with an immense fierceness. "Are you… pointing the bat?"

"Well wtf am I supposed to do with it?!"

"What are you going to do? Poke us?" Kellan asked with a sneer, as he folded his large arms over his broad chest. Which was followed by a taunting snicker from Jackson.

Megan rolled her eyes again as she snatched the bat from Courtney and handed a still unconscious Robert over to her. "You had better watch out!" She called as she approached the boys. "I happen to have played a mean game of T-Ball!"

"Oh God! Anything but T-ball!" Jackson chuckled, mock shaking in his boots. Meg's face contorted into an angry snarl as she fiercely swung the bat in their direction. The boys jumped back to avoid being hit.

Courtney watched as her friend swung the bat, scaring the men who loomed over a whole head taller than her. "WOO!" She called out. As soon as she did, she slightly lost her grip on Rob and fumbled to straighten him back up on the dolly.

Kellan darted out of the way as Megan continued to swing the bat. "GO COURTNEY! GO! I'll hold them off!"

"OH MY GOD! OKAY!" She quickly tighten her grip on Rob as she half rolled, half dragged him through the dank alley. "Eww…" She mumbled. A soft groan made her stop in her tracks.

"Wtffffff…"

"Shhh… Baby! It's okay! I got you."

"Where in the bloody hell am I?"

"No where!" She whispered as she slapped him in the face.

"OW! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?! AND WHY CAN'T I MOVE MY ARMS?!"

"SH!T! I'm sorry! I just get… kind of violent when I'm nervous! AH!" She cried as she kissed him in the mouth.

Megan continued to swing the bat at Kellan and Jackson as they both ducked and dodged forward to try to stop her. Suddenly Kellan grabbed the bat and pulled forward. Megan lost her balance and stumbled into him. He yanked the bat from her hands and looked her right in the eyes then hummed it away from them.

The bat went flying through the air, conking Robert in the back of the head, knocking him out cold again.

Courtney pulled back as she noticed the stillness. She looked down and saw the bat lying on the ground. Anger bubbled up in her chest. "DAMN IT!" She cried as she let loose her grip on Robert, who slumped to the ground, and stalked over to a wide eyed Kellan. "LOOK WHAT YOU DID!"

"Um… didn't you hit him first?" Jackson asked from his stance on the other side of Kellan.

"……. THAT'S NOT THE POINT!" Courtney yelled for a lack of a real argument.

"Courtney… are we kidnapping Rob or not?" Megan asked with a sigh.

"Oh… right…" Courtney quickly pulled off her shoe and smacked Jackson over the head with it. Then took off running with one shoe to retrieve Rob. She picked him up and started back down the alley. "RUN MEG!" She called over her shoulder.

Megan quickly made a break for it, before Kellan could even notice. She followed a ways behind Courtney and noticed as she rounded the corner and then skidded to a stop.

Courtney stood wide eyed before Nikki. "SON. OF. A B!TCH!" Then a look of determination flashed across her face and she reached out her balled fist and punched her in the head.

"OOOOOOOOOW! WTF, B!TCH?!" Nikki cried still standing on her feet.

"CRAP! That was supposed to knock you out…" She mumbled shaking her pounding hand.

Megan quickly ran back to grab the bat, dodging Kellan, then ran and hit Nikki with it. "LET'S GO!"

"Meg! You are effing AWESOME!" Courtney laughed as she rolled the dolly forward. But it caught in a crack in the ground and sent Rob spiraling over and over in his protective bubble wrap. The girls watched with bewilderment. "ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING ME?!"

Meg, looked behind her to see Kellan looking after Nikki, then ran over to lift Rob back up. "It's ok, Courtney! Just get the car!"

Courtney nodded and then ran off to try to open the car door. "Damn it! Where are the keys?!" She cried as she searched her pockets.

Megan, finally pulled Rob upright and began to roll him over to the car. People still mulling around on the street stopped to stare. "What?!"

"Where. Are. The. Keys?!… WHAT YA'LL LOOKING AT?!" She hollered throwing up her hands in an intimidating gesture.

Megan looked up to see Kellan preparing to run in her direction. She noticed the beer bottle and rolled it. It caught him underfoot sending him spiraling to the earth. She then dug in her pocket and threw the keys to Courtney. "THERE! Now hurry! Pop the trunk and help me get him in!"

Courtney reached out for the keys and fumbled and dropped them as she noticed people pulling out their camera phones. "DAMN IT!" She quickly bent down to pick them up and them popped the trunk. She ran over to help Megan pull the dolly over. She took hold of it and pushed it forward. "GET IN THE CAR AND START IT UP!" She hurriedly pushed the dolly forward as Megan ran around and hopped into the driver's side.

"COURTNEY! HURRY!" She called as the engine roared to life.

She quickly stuffed Rob in the trunk and ran to hop in the car, but tripped over Kellan, who was sprawled out on the ground, and fell flat on her face. She didn't let it faze her as she scrambled from the ground and reached up to pull herself in the car. She felt a hand on her leg and shook it off. "GO! GO! GO!" She screamed, wiping blood from her lips. She shut the door as the car pulled off. "WOOOOO! WE DID IT!!"

"YEAH WE DID!" Megan cried as the tires screeched down the road. "Hey… did you hear that?"

"What?" Courtney asked turning around. "AW SH!T!" She exclaimed.

"WHAT?!"

"THE EFFING TRUNK IS STILL OPEN!!"

"WHAAAAAT?!" Meg exclaimed as the car screeched to a stop. "WELL, IS HE STILL IN THERE?!"

"I DON'T KNOW!!"

"WELL, GO CHECK!"

Courtney scrambled back out of the car and immediately saw Rob hopping back towards Kellan in his bubble wrapped form. Her eyes widened with shock as she saw them pointing out their car to the police. She jumped back in, "JUST GO DAMN IT!"

Megan pressed her foot to the gas pedal and sped off. "DAMN IT! Well… better luck next time…"


	2. Entry 2: Jack Attack!

**Entry 2: Jack Attack!**

**(Objective: Jackson Rathbone)**

"Meg…" Courtney said tentatively. "I'm nervous..."

Meg finished securing her tan trench coat around her waist. "What the heck are you nervous about?"

Courtney sighed. "Well, the LAST time we did this, it didn't work."

"Well… we'll just have to make this one work then, won't we?" She picked up a large pair of bright orange and pink sunglasses. "Now tie your trench coat around you tightly! OH! And don't forget your sunglasses!" She tossed Courtney a pair that was identical except a loud and splashy yellow and green.

"Right!" Courtney said, catching them easily.

Meg turned and headed for the door.

"Um, Meg…" Courtney whined. "Can we switch glasses? The orange ones look better on me…"

Meg shot her an incredulous look before removing her glasses and handing them over. "FINE…jeez …"

Courtney happily threw her sunglasses at Meg and slid the new ones on and smiled widely. "Yeeeeah…" She cooed looking in the mirror with a nod.

"Now can we go?" Meg asked impatiently putting her own on.

"Yep, I'm good!"

The girls crept out into the hall, looking around to make sure they were alone. When they determined that the coast was clear they closed the door behind them and started down the hall toward the elevator.

The sound of a door opening made them stop dead in their tracks. Kellan emerged from a nearby room with his back to them, looking rather god-like in just a pair of swimming trunks. A large, red raft was slung under one of his particularly muscular arms.

Just as he was about to turn Meg grabbed the back of Courtney's coat and dragged her into the stairwell.

"OMG!" Courtney squealed.

"Shh!" Megan warned, pointing at Kellan.

Courtney slapped a hand over her mouth, looking alarmed. "OMG!" She hissed. "He's shirtless! Is that a floatie thing?"

"YES, Courtney, now BE QUIET for a minute!"

"Sorry!" Courtney squeaked.

Kellan strolled by casually, not noticing the two girls hunched over in the stairwell.

"Damn!" Courtney said, whistling low and watching him walk away. "That boy is FINE…"

"Courtney!!" Meg cautioned.

Courtney threw her hand over her face again and coughed loudly. "Sorry…"

Meg peeked out into the hallway. "Ok, the coast is clear! Let's go!" She ran toward the elevator with Courtney close behind.

Courtney's foot snagged on the carpet and sent her flying forward into Meg and both of them went careening into the closed elevator doors.

"Courtney!" Meg called again.

"SORRY! It was the carpet! I'm gonna change my name!"

Meg waved her hand in front of Courtney's face. "SHH!"

Courtney rolled her eyes. "Oh PUH-lease! Who is going to hear us?"

The sound of another door opening caused the two of them to panic.

Meg pushed the button frantically. "Come on, come ON!"

"It's not wooooorking!" Courtney whispered, as the voices in hallway got louder.

"Thank you, Captain Obvious!" Meg snapped.

The elevator dinged and the two girls scrambled inside frantically.

Meg's flip-flop caught and she tumbled to the ground, one foot still sticking awkwardly out of the elevator.

Rob's familiar voice filled their ears. "Hold the elevator please!" He called.

Meg got to her feet clumsily and knocked Courtney into the wall of the elevator in her hurry to get inside. Both girls watched anxiously, bouncing on the balls of their feet, as the doors began to slide closed.

They glanced at each other and sighed in relief, but a hand shot through the small crack in the doors, forcing them open.

The girls stared wide-eyed behind their sunglasses as Rob and Jackson walked into the elevator. Both were dressed like Kellan, only in swimming trunks.

They shuffled themselves into the back corner of the elevator, pushing their glasses further up their noses.

"Well, thank you…" Rob muttered sarcastically.

"Yeah. Very nice." Jackson added.

Courtney coughed rather obviously and then spoke in a dramatically lowered voice. "Sorry about that… we just have a, um…fear of elevator doors…"

Meg nodded her agreement. "Yeah."

Rob raised one eyebrow. "Sure." He turned his back on them.

Meg reached up and pulled her sunglasses down, looking over the top of them at Jackson and Rob's bare backs and shoulders.

Courtney not so softly elbowed her.

"Oh!" Megan hissed, "Like you weren't LOOKING!"

"I'm sorry, did you say something?" Rob asked, eyeing them suspiciously.

"NO!" Both said, too quickly, in unison.

Rob turned back around with a slightly annoyed look on his face and Courtney coughed again, pointing at Rob's butt. She giggled stupidly.

Meg rolled her eyes.

Courtney bit her bottom lip and a mischievous look crossed her face. Meg noticed and her eyes widened. "Whatever you're about to-"

Just then, the elevator stopped at the first floor. As they were getting off Courtney pretended to stumble into Rob and then reached out and grabbed his butt.

Courtney straightened up. "Oh! I'm SO sorry about that, sir!"

"Did…did you just grab my arse?" Rob asked.

Meg reached out and quickly pulled Courtney back over to her. "No, sir. I'm sure she didn't." she hissed through her teeth.

Courtney shook her head innocently. "No… I would NEVER do anything like that… Unless I was asked…"

Meg pinched Courtney under the arm. She yelped loudly but then covered it up with a broad smile.

"You know… you kind of look familiar…"

"So do you." Meg shot back.

"Well, I am an actor…" Rob said, uncertainly.

"I'm sure you are." Courtney said, grabbing Meg's hand and pulling her past them out and around the corner.

"OMG! That was close!" Meg said anxiously.

"OMG! He has the nicest asssssss!" Courtney looked down at her hand lovingly.

"Could you please FOCUS?" Meg scolded stomping her foot.

"HUP! Ahem… sorry."

"Ok, so how are we going to get in there without them knowing we followed them?" Meg asked.

Courtney looked around. "WAIT! I have an idea!" She ran over to the sitting area. "LOOK OVER THERE!" She yelled and pointed across the lobby and then snatched the newspapers out of the hands of the two businessmen sitting there.

They looked around stupidly.

"What are you doing?" Meg asked, shocked.

"Follow me!" She rolled the newspapers up and shoved it into her pocket. "We have to be inconspicuous…" She said, then crouched down and walked sideways across the floor.

Meg rolled her eyes, then moved to follow her, but her foot caught on the leg of a nearby chair and went catapulting into a table.

"Smooth, real smooth," Courtney muttered. She walked over and dragged Megan up. "Now, come on Klutzy the Clown!" She started toward the pool but didn't get far before she stumbled, having tripped over nothing in particular but her own feet.

Meg snickered. "Ok, Stumbling Stanley ."

"Shut up! Come on!"

They darted into the pool area. It was still empty so the girls went to casually sit in the lounge chairs, but Meg's foot slipped and she landed on her bottom. Then with the grace of a drunken monkey she scrambled her way onto the chair. A calming look immediately graced her face and she crossed her legs left over right like nothing had ever happened.

Courtney rolled her eyes.

"What?" Meg asked. "The floor is slippery!" She pulled her newspaper out and opened it, noisily fighting with the pages until the paper opened.

Courtney watched her friend incredulously. "I can't take you anywhere."

Meg turned red behind her newspaper.

The door swung open then and Kellan swaggered in, still toting his red raft.

Courtney lowered her newspaper and pushed her glasses up onto her forehead to get a better look at him. "May I just say one more time how FINE that boy is…"

Meg snickered.

A burst of loud laughter let them know that Rob and Jackson entered, laden down with towels and drinks. The girls stared.

Meg gathered herself together first. "Courtney, your sunglasses!" She hissed.

"Right!" She said pulling them back down over her eyes swiftly.

They both watched as the boys strode over to the pool side, their newspapers lowered considerably.

Jackson shot a look their way and they hurriedly pulled them back up, looking at each other.

"Aw crap… We didn't think about the fact that they would be together down here!" Courtney said. "How are we going to get Jackson alone?"

"Shoot… Um… Right," Meg said. "I have an idea. BRB."

"What?" Courtney asked stupidly.

"BRB." Meg repeated.

"Are you saying BRB?" Courtney asked.

"YES! Be right back! Jeez…" She got up.

"NO! Don't leave me!" Courtney cried as Megan stood.

Megan stared at her, panicked. "SHH! Just read!" She said pointing to Courtney's newspaper. She then lifted her own up in front of her face and began side-stepping toward the door.

Kellan moved in her direction, trying to find the best part of pool to park his raft, and she sidled right into him.

Courtney quickly put the newspaper back up in front of her face.

"SORRY!" Meg said, half-running the rest of the way.

"WHOA…Ok…" Kellan exclaimed looking after her. With a shrug he threw his raft into the pool and then dove in after it.

Courtney watched with her mouth hanging open as Kellan came back up glistening and then noticed Rob staring at her with a look of concentration. She quickly lifted the newspaper back up to cover her face.

Meg came jogging back in then, watching her steps under the newspaper. "OK!"

"What did you just do?" Courtney asked anxious curiosity laced in her voice.

"You'll see!"

The door opened and a waitress walked in, carrying a drink to the side of the pool. "Sir," she said, addressing Kellan, "this is for you."

Meg giggled and sat down, the newspaper still in front of her. She hitched the trench coat up so that she would be more comfortable and crossed one long leg over the other.

Jackson gawked at her, cocking his head to the side trying to see past the newspaper. He got a little too close to the pool and lost his balance and fell in, his back hitting the water with a loud SMACK as he dropped to the bottom.

Rob glanced around, confused at the sudden disappearance of his friend.

Kellan frowned and slid rather clumsily from his raft, splashing the waitress in the face. She frowned. He swam to the side and took the glass from her.

"Um…thanks…" His voice was clearly confused and Meg snickered as he examined the tall glass of pink liquid with a bright blue umbrella sticking out of the top.

"YOU ORDERED HIM A DRINK?" Courtney accused loudly.

"SHH!" Meg hissed, sending Courtney a warning glare.

Jackson suddenly resurfaced coolly, looking around to see if anyone had noticed that he'd fallen

Courtney burst into a fit of laughter. "He was TOTALLY checking you out and fell into the pool!"

"REALLY?!" Meg squealed excitedly.

"YES!"

The girls giggled stupidly for another moment until a loud shout caught their attention.

"CANNONBALL!" Rob bellowed, taking a flying leap into the water.

The girls quickly pulled the newspapers back up in front of their faces. They didn't notice that they were upside down

"OMG! Did you SEE him?" Courtney asked, even though it was obvious Meg had seen.

"Yessss," Meg said. "That is one SEXY man…"

Courtney sighed longingly. "He makes me thirsty… and other things…WAIT! Why in the HELL did you order him a drink?"

Meg snickered again. "You'll see…"

"Dude," Jackson said suddenly to Kellan, snickering, "somebody TOTALLY ordered you a chick's drink."

Kellan ignored him and reached for the glass. Both girls watched as he downed the entire thing in one long gulp, their eyes bulging.

"AHH!" Kellan yelled suddenly. "BRAIN FREEZE!"

Both girls started to giggle again but were once again interrupted by Rob, who climbed from the pool, water dripping from his hair and swim trunks, and walked toward the diving board.

Courtney stared after him, her mouth hanging open.

Meg reached over and pushed her chin up so that her mouth closed and patted her friend on the head.

"Dude," Jackson began once again, "who are those chicks?"

Kellan strained to look over at the two girls hidden behind newspapers as he scrambled onto his raft.. "I don't know. They look kind of familiar though…"

"I know… they were in the elevator earlier, but it didn't hit me 'til just now…"

Rob, who was now about ten feet away due to where the diving board was positioned, shook his head, spraying water everywhere and then ran off the end of the diving board, his body arched in a perfect dive as he went into the water.

Courtney had the corner of her newspaper folded down, trying not to be obvious as she stared at him. She was failing miserably.

"Oh…my…GOD." She was hyperventilating. "I think I just diiiiied…"

Meg tried to fan Courtney with one hand and keep the newspaper in front of her face with the other.

"BREATHE!" She said, flailing her arm around.

"I don't remember how to breath! I need my puuump!"

Meg reached over and slapped Courtney, hard, across the face. Courtney stared at her, wide-eyed.

"SNAP OUT OF IT!" Meg ordered. "WE HAVE A MISSION TO ACCOMPLISH!"

Courtney nodded solemnly and then noticed that all three of the men were staring in their direction.

"Sit. Down." Courtney said out of the corner of her mouth.

Meg looked around, not realizing she had leapt to her feet, and noticed the guys watching her with amused expressions.

"Oh…" she said, flushing bright red, "right…" She quickly sat down and the girls lifted the papers up to cover their faces. They were once again upside down.

Kellan yawned widely as he pushed himself and his raft over to their side of the pool. "Um, how are you guys reading…" he yawned again, "when they're upside… down?"

The girls looked at their papers and then hurriedly, and very noisily, flipped them over.

Kellan suddenly began to snore loudly.

Both girls dropped their newspapers to look at him.

"Aw… he's so cute when he sleeps…" Courtney cooed, her eyes widened suddenly. "OMG! MEG!" She whispered. "Did youuu…?"

Meg smiled broadly.

"EVIL GENIUS!" Courtney said, grinning as well.

Jackson suddenly started coughing and spluttering loudly, jumping up out of the water. "MAN!" He coughed some more. "I was trying to hold my breath!"

"Hahahaha," Rob laughed. "You're a bloody dork. I bet I can beat you!"

"Boys…" Courtney muttered under her breath.

"We need someone to be our judge!" Rob said excitedly. "Hey Kel!"

Kellan responded with a resounding snore.

"Is he asleep?" Jackson asked incredulously.

"Sounds like it…Damn… hmm…" He looked over at the girls. "Excuse me? Ladies? Would you mind being our judge?"

"ME?!" They asked in unison, pointing at themselves.

Rob laughed. "Sure…either one of you."

Courtney stood up quickly.

"I'LL DO IT!" Meg bellowed, raising her hand up in the air.

Courtney sunk back down into her chair sulkily.

"Ok…GO!" Meg yelled and the boys went under. She turned to Courtney. "Now how are we supposed to get rid of ROB?"

"I don't know…" Courtney stood up and her glasses fell off of her face. "Aw crap…"

But before she could retrieve them, Rob came up from under the water. His eyes traveled over to Courtney, something flashed in them. His eyes widened and he hurried over to the side of the pool and scrambled out, grabbing a towel and rushing out toward the elevator doors.

Jackson was still under the water, flailing his arms about to keep himself under longer.

"Huh… well that was easy," Meg said.

Courtney made a sad face and reached her hand out. "Come baaacckkk!"

"COURTNEY!" Meg said, snapping her fingers in front of her face. " Jackson is the main objective tonight. Focus woman."

Courtney sniffed loudly. "Ok."

Jackson finally surfaced, sucking in a deep breath. "HA!" He shouted triumphantly but looked around confused when he noticed Rob was gone.

The girls stared at him.

"…Where'd Rob go?" Jackson asked.

"He…um… he had to pee!" Meg said loudly.

"Oh…well…" He looked around and Courtney grabbed her sunglasses while his head was turned and chucked them rather obviously into the pool.

"Oh. Dear. Me." She said putting a hand to her face in mock distress. "I. Seem. To. Have. Dropped. My. Sunglasses. What. Ever. Shall. I. Do?"

"Um, I'll get them…I guess…" Jackson volunteered.

"Would you?!" Courtney squealed. "That would be GRAND!"

Meg raised an eyebrow at her friend.

Courtney grimaced and then shrugged.

Jackson dove below the water and Meg ran to the far wall.

"Tell me when!" She shouted.

"When what?" Courtney asked stupidly.

"When he gets down there!" Meg yelled frustrated.

"Um…ok…WHY?" Courtney looked confused.

"JUST DO IT!" Meg bellowed.

"OK! WHEN!" She said suddenly.

"What?" Meg asked in disbelief at her friend's slowness. "When he gets down there, Courtney!"

"I said when!"

"I SWEAR, Courtney, I'm going to—."

"HE'S DOWN THERE!" She screamed.

"OOOH!" Meg reached over and pulled on the life saver that was hanging from the wall.

Suddenly Jackson came flying up out of the water, trapped in a large net which went sailing up toward the ceiling.

"GENIUS!" Courtney hopped up and down, clapping her hands excitedly.

"It was your idea! Remember that one time when we were—." Meg started to prattle back.

"Excuse me? I hate to interrupt but… WTF AM I DOING UP HERE?" Jackson bellowed, scrambling around in the net.

Kellan's raft bumped the edge near Courtney's feet and he started snoring even more loudly, his mouth now hanging open. She looked down at him, snickering.

"Shush!" Meg told Jackson .

"YEAH? SHUSH?! HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO LISTEN TO YOU?" He yelled even louder, his voice echoing off of the walls.

Courtney quickly removed her shoe and hummed it at Jackson . It smacked him in the head and then dropped into the water, floating toward Kellan, who suddenly woke himself up with a loud snore.

"Wha…?" He looked around.

Courtney took off her other shoe and conked him in the head with it.

Meg snickered. "Note to self: buy Courtney new shoes…"

The sound of laughter reached their ears and Meg let go of the life preserver in panic, dropping Jackson back into the water with a huge splash. They stop and listened for anymore noise, their muscles tightening. When they heard none they relaxed with audible sighs.

"CULLEN DOWN!" Courtney screamed with a laugh pointing at the water.

Meg suddenly snickered. "IT'S RAINING MEN, HALLELUUUUJAH! IT'S RAINING MEN, AAAAMEN!" She sang loudly.

Courtney started doing the robot, moving her body awkwardly to the sound of Meg's voice.

Rob suddenly walked in and looked around. Meg stopped singing abruptly and then leaned against the wall nonchalantly, whistling loudly. Courtney froze mid-pose.

"IT _IS_ YOU!" He said loudly.

"HIGGITY BIGGITY BOO!" Meg cackled.

Rob stared at her and raised one eyebrow. "Is that supposed to scare me?!"

"HI ROB!" Courtney giggled waving idiotically, a wide grin across her face.

Rob's eyes widened and he sprinted from the room.

"WTF?!" Courtney said, poking her bottom lip out in a pout. Meg cracked up using the wall for support to hold her as she laughed. Courtney glared at her.

A bubbled suddenly popped on the surface of the pool and the girls' quickly looked at one another.

"OMG! JACK!" They yelled together.

"PULL HIM UP! PULL HIM UUUUPPP!" Courtney screamed.

"HELP ME!" Meg grabbed the rope and pulled.

Courtney started to run over but slipped and slid the entire way over on her stomach.

Meg stared. "That was AWESOME!"

"OMG! I KNOW!" Courtney said, climbing back up. Both girls laughed and smacked each other a high five.

Another bubbled popped across the surface of the water.

"OMG!" Meg pulled harder on the life preserver. Courtney grabbed the belt of Meg's trench coat and the two of them leaned backward, pulling as hard as they could. They landed on their bottoms on the floor.

Jackson went flying back into the air, coughing and spluttering once again.

"WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!" He bellowed through the coughing.

"Our bad… you see, what happened was—" Courtney started to explain as they scrambled to stand. They accidentally released him as they staggered upward and he dropped back into the water.

"SHIT! Look what YOU did!" Courtney yelled.

"ME?! I'm not the only one standing here!" Meg yelled back.

The girls looked at each other.

"Well, go get him…" Courtney said gesturing at the water.

"ME?!" Meg said loudly.

"What are you, a parrot? Yes, you!" Courtney said as the water started to bubble.

"WHY CAN'T _YOU_ GET HIM?!"

Courtney patted her afro. "Because I can't get my hair wet…"

"FINE!" Meg stripped off her coat and dove into the water.

Courtney leaned against the wall casually and pulled out a pick, fluffing her hair.

Meg struggled for a moment to pull a flailing Jackson to the surface.

"KICK YOUR LEGS!" Courtney called to her.

"HELP!" Meg spluttered.

"Get OFF me!" Jackson yelled.

"I CAN'T! He's TOO heavy!" Meg was still struggling as the very conscious Jackson was trying to swim in the opposite direction.

"AWW… HOLY HOT DIRTY HOES!" Courtney yelled in frustration.

As Meg drug Jackson forward she crashed into Kellan's float and it tipped, sending him into the water.

"OMG! KELLAN!" Courtney threw off her coat and jumped in after him.

"COURTNEY!" Meg yelled, inhaling a mouthful of water.

"JUST DO THIS!" Courtney grabbed the shoe floating nearby and whacked Jackson across the head with it. He immediately went slack in Meg's arms..

Courtney grabbed him under the elbows and drug him over to the stairs then went back for Kellan who she towed into the shallow end.

"Kellan?" She checked to see if he was breathing.

"JUST LEAVE HIM!" Meg said as she pulled Jackson out of the water.

"OK!"

Kellan's eyes fluttered open and he stared at the girl hovering over him.

"KELLAN!" Courtney said excitedly.

"Whaa…?" He groaned.

Courtney bent over and kissed him full on the mouth.

"GAWDAMMIT COURTNEY!" Meg swore, dropping Jackson.

"HUH?! SORRY!" She slapped Kellan across the face and then released him into the water. He was still gaping stupidly.

Courtney glared as she swam over and then sloshed out. "What?! I couldn't just let him drown…"

"Yeah, well, you didn't have to make out with him either!" Meg accused.

"PFFFFTTT! What's done is done! Come on!" She grabbed Jackson and the two of them heaved him onto the nearest lounge chair. "DUDE! WTF?! Why are they all so HEAVY?"

"I don't—. WAIT! Did you hear that?" Meg asked, looking around.

"Hear what?" Courtney asked, confused.

"Someone's coming! HIDE!" Meg instructed.

"HIDE WHERE?!" Courtney asked, looking around. She spotted a very skimpy potted plant in one corner and darted over and stuffed herself behind it.

Meg grabbed one of the discarded newspapers, opened it to a random page and draped it over Jackson's face, then ran over and joined Courtney. They huddled together breathing so heavily that the plastic leaves rustled loudly.

The door opened and a blind man with a walking stick came tapping in. He poked Jackson with his stick and then stepped over him, exiting out the far door.

Courtney glared at Meg through the leaves.

"WHAT?! How was I supposed to know he was blind?" She asked.

"COME ON!" Courtney said, running back over to Jackson .

Both of them grabbed the back end of the chair and began dragging it toward the door. It scraped and squeaked along. One of Jackson's arms dropped and his hands began dragging along the tile as well.

"Are you going to leave that newspaper there?" Courtney asked as they pulled.

"Yes! It makes him less… conspicuous!"

Courtney stared at Meg like she was an idiot. She looked away. "WAIT!" She ran over and picked up one of the trench coats and covered Jackson with it. "There!"

Meg shrugged and they both resumed pulling the chair and dragged it out into the lobby, which was filled with people. All of them, those sitting and those milling about, stared as the two sopping wet girls pulled the lounge chair across the carpet.

"We'll bring it back, I promise!" Meg called to the speechless clerks at the front desk.

They tried to push the chair through the revolving doors but it got stuck. Even more people were stopping to stare at them.

"Shit!" Courtney cursed. "Um…um…"

"I got it! Help me lift him up!" Meg said, grabbing one arm.

Courtney took a hold of the other and pulled him upward.

"Quick! Put him on my back!" Meg said, backing up and slinging one of his arms over her shoulder.

"Really?!" Courtney asked.

"We have to get him out SOMEHOW!" Meg yelled.

"Ok…" Courtney lifted him with a series of grunts. "So." Grunt. "Effing." Grunt. "Heavy." She finally slung him onto her back.

Jackson's arms went around Meg's shoulders.

A college kid standing nearby with a video camera was recording the whole thing. "Dude!" He said to his buddy. "I'm putting this on YouTube!"

"The EFF you are!" Courtney bellowed, grabbing the camera and stuffing it down her shirt. She punched the kid in the throat and he fell to the floor, curling up into a ball and sobbing.

"Did you just punch that guy in the throat?" Meg asked, staring at Courtney.

"Yes! Punk ass…" She mumbled as they started toward the revolving doors.

Nikki and Kristen walked in as they were trying to get out and the girls stopped, staring through the glass panels at them.

"Aw hell…" Meg muttered.

"QUICK MEG! RUN!" Courtney yelled.

"HOW IN THE HELL DO YOU EXPECT ME TO DO THAT? HE IS EFFING HEAVY COURTNEY!" Meg staggered outside.

Nikki looked up at that moment and saw them.

Meg grinned and waved.

"YOUUU!" Nikki screamed, pointing at Courtney. She ran back into the revolving doors and the girls went around in circles for a few minutes, getting nowhere.

Courtney suddenly tripped and fell, crashing into one of the plexi-glass doors and stopping the rotation. Nikki crashed into another pane and fell out onto the sidewalk next to Meg.

"Courtney! Get up!" Meg yelled frantically.

Courtney climbed to her feet swaying slightly and then pushed the doors around, climbing over Nikki. The two of them staggered across the parking lot.

"Damn," Courtney said suddenly, falling over into the grass.

"GREAT!" Meg panted.

Courtney climbed to her feet unsteadily and then staggered over to Meg's side. "Sorry…" She doubled over, sucking in air.

Kristen walked out and helped Nikki to her feet. The actresses started in their direction.

Suddenly the music of NSYNC filled their ears. "YOU'RE ALL I EVER WANTED…YOU'RE ALL I EVER NEEDED, YEAH…"

Meg swore and dropped Jackson onto Courtney as she fumbled in her pocket for her phone. The two of them collapsed in a heap on the pavement.

"Hello?" Meg answered.

"You brought your PHONE?" Courtney bellowed.

"What?! No, Mom … MOM! I'M ON A STAKEOUT!" Meg shouted into her phone.

Courtney rolled her eyes and pushed Jackson aside.

"What?" Meg continued to speak with her mother. "I can't hear you!"

Courtney grabbed Meg's phone from her and stuffed it down her shirt with the camera. She turned and noticed Kristen and Nikki as they began sprinting in their direction.

"WE GOTTA GO!" Courtney pointed in the girls' direction. "Where's the car?!"

Meg looked around and let out a string of profanities. "It's back over there…"

"Past Nikki and Kristen?!" Courtney asked, pointing once again in their direction. "Son of a monkey's nutsack!"

"Come on, we can take 'em!" Meg said, dancing around a little.

"But I'm TIRED! And I'm HUNGRY! And I think I have to PEE!" Courtney whined.

"Yeah, well SUCK it UP! I had to pee the WHOLE time I was wrapped in that bubble wrap!" Meg snapped.

Courtney took a deep breath. "Ok!" She put up her hands, crouching into a fighting stance.

"WTF do you girls think you're doing?!" Kristen yelled.

Nikki ran toward her. "Yeah! WTF do you think you are doing?!"

Courtney braced herself as Nikki continued running, then squealed and ducked. Nikki went sprawling over her and crashed into the back end of a nearby Mercedes, setting off its alarm.

"YEAH! WHAT NOW?!" Courtney yelled victoriously throwing her hands up in the air, as she did Meg's phone slipped from her shirt.

Meg quickly bent down to pick it up.

A tap on Courtney's shoulder caused her to turn and she was smacked across the face. "Take that bitch!!" Kristen mocked.

"COURTNEY, BEHIND YOU!" Meg looked up and warned too late.

"OWWIE!" Courtney whined as her hand flew up to cover her stinging cheek. "THANKS FOR THE HEADS UP!" She cried sarcastically, looking at a now scared Kristen.

"Sorry! I got distracted!" Meg apologized. She lunged and kicked Kristen in the back.

Courtney hopped quickly out of the way as Kristen went flying past her sprawling out over the ground. "Well... that was easy!"

"Yeah… it was. Well, she is a very tiny thing isn't she?" Meg said cocking her head to the side and observing the two girls that were on the ground.

"Yeah she is. They both are. They need to eat." Courtney said observing with her.

"HA! Yeah they do. Now let's get the hell out of here!"

They both turned around at the same time to see that Jackson was now gone.

"WTF?!" Courtney shouted.

"WHAT THE FRENCH TOAST, MAN?!" Meg yelled, throwing her hands up in the air.

Courtney sighed. "Forget it! Let's just go."

"UGH," Meg grumbled. "Let's go to IHOP."

"Ok… But try not to spill syrup on me AGAIN. You got it in my hair last time."

"Fine…" Meg sighed with a roll of her eyes.

The girls continued to grumble while they climbed into the car, backed out, then drove away. Not even bothering to look behind them to see Jackson lying flat on his back in the parking space where they had just left.


	3. Entry 3: WEIGHT FOR ME!

**Entry 3: WEIGHT FOR ME!!**

**(Objective: Kellan Lutz)**

"It is WARM!" Meg complained as she pulled on her sweatshirt and fanned her chest. "I'm sweating and we just got dressed!"

"I know! But we need to stay covered up." Courtney said, adjusting her jogging pants at the bottom so that they would cover her socks. "Whoever made these should be shot in the foot."

"Couldn't find matching socks?" Meg asked looking down at Courtney's one orange sock and then her other tan one.

"No! Okay… I packed in a hurry." Courtney said still trying in vain to cover them. Soon she just gave up and stuff her black jogging pants into her socks. "I hate these stupid things."

"HA! You look like Halloween. AND it was your idea." Meg pointed out.

"Yeah well… shut up!" Courtney took another look in the mirror at her getup and cocked her head to the side. She flattened her breasts down even more and then hunched her chest in. "Guess I'll have to walk like this… Do you think we should have gotten wigs?"

"No… I'm sure we'll be fine. He probably won't even notice." Meg said fixing the sweatband that was wrapped around her head. She then stood back to mimic Courtney's stance.

"How's my 'stache?"

"What?"

"How's my stache?!"

"Courtney… I swear I need subtitles when you talk to me…"

"Oh, for the love of cheese, Megan. How. Is. My. Moustache?"

"OH!… It's a little crooked." She commented then with a quick flick of her hand she ripped it off.

"OOOOOWWWW!!" Courtney cried, her hands flying up to cover her lip.

"AH! SORRY!" Meg exclaimed with wide eyes. Her lips trembled in an effort to hold back a laugh, which made Courtney glare at her. She bit her bottom lip and then placed the fake moustache back on straight. "There you go. How's my beard?"

"Very… beardy… OKAY! Let's do this!" Courtney said. Meg straightened her back and started off in front of Courtney.

"NO! NO! NO! Don't walk like that!"

"What?" Meg asked stopping in her tracks.

"You gotta put a little swagger in your step! Like this!" Courtney said. She leaned her left shoulder to the side and swung her hand widely in front of her and walked with a limp, resembling that of a thug.

"….Okay, I guess…" Meg said watching her. She then began to imitate Courtney. Awkwardly, swinging her arm stiffly in the wrong direction and hopping a little more than necessary.

The girls then swaggered down the hall and then into the weight room. But Meg's awkward swagger gets stopped short when she not so gracefully walked into Courtney, who stood stark still just in the entrance of the room.

Megan opened her mouth to protest, but could only let her breath out in a whoosh. Before her sat a demigod, muscles rippling and sweat rolling off of his shirtless body.

"Holy Mother of a Father's Sister's Brother…"

"Who's Great Grandma Geraldine is dipped in gravy…" Meg finished.

Just then Kellan looked up from his work out and Courtney lifted her hand and began to wave in a delicate manner.

Meg kicked her slightly with a cough.

"WHASSUP MAN?!" Courtney recovered a little too loudly in a deepened voice, balling her wagging fingers into a fist and beating it on her chest.

"…Hey man…" Kellan answered back with a suspicious look.

"Yo! Yo! Yo!" Meg added in her own lowered tone. But it came out in a cracked, still slightly high pitched drone.

Kellan's eyes widened and he answered her with a nod.

Courtney turned her head to the side and mouthed, "Ooooow…. Hoooot…"

"AHEM! Is this here… thingy… taken?" Meg asked pointing to an Elliptical machine.

Kellan's eyes took in the empty room. "Naw man…"

"I'm just gonna… lift these here weights." Courtney muttered walking over to the sets of weights on the stand. "Build up my… muscles here…" She said looking at and pointing to her bicep.

Meg snickered and turned to watch Courtney as she looked at all the numbers on the dumbbells to try to decide which one to pick up. She chose a twenty pound one.

"HUP!" Courtney exclaimed as she stumbled forward and dropped it. "YEAH! Whew… that was a workout…" She said looking sideways over at Kellan. He quickly cut his eyes and she saw his shoulders shake a little. She frowned then began stretching.

Meg climbed onto the Elliptical machine and pressed a random button. But the machine didn't move. She began to get irritated and jabbed at a series of buttons over and over again. She started to slap at them when her hand was stayed.

"Dude… You have to move your legs." Kellan said quickly releasing her wrist.

"I… I knew that. I was just trying to find a harder workout… More resistance and all that…" Meg muttered as she started to push her legs.

"Yeah sure." Kellan mumbled under his breath. He then walked over and laid down on the bench to began lifting weights.

"I totally knew that…" Meg repeated in her normal voice.

Courtney, who was_obviously_ watching Kellan while she stretched, quickly shot Meg a glance. Meg stuck her tongue out and Courtney retaliated then quickly looked away. "So uh…" She began in her normal voice, she quickly cleared her throat and tried again. "So um… you uh… come here… often…?"

Meg looked at Courtney and mouthed, "What?"

Courtney shrugged and started running in place.

"Every now and then." He said with a grunt as he lifted the weights. "Gotta keep in shape for the ladies, you know."

"Yeah homie… I totally know." Courtney agreed without really knowing what she was saying. Her eyes were transfixed on the bulging muscles being pushed before her. "Gotta keep them ladies… looking… and stuff."

"Yeah… the ladies and stuff…" Meg added staring and panting, not seeming to notice just how fast she was going. When she felt the room begin to spin she quickly stopped and leaned over the bars. "Well… I'm done. That was very… exercise-y… and stuff." She hopped off with wobbly legs and walked over to stand next to Courtney.

Courtney, stuck in a trance, immediately left Meg's side to stand over Kellan. "You need a spot?" She asked dreamily.

"Naw… I'm good." Kellan answered looking up wearily.

Meg looked curiously at a set of weights and then bent over to try to pick them up. But her foot caught on another set on the ground and she went crashing into the stand that was holding most of them. She quickly maneuvered and caught one of the lighter sets and began lifting it up, looking around to see if anyone noticed.

"WHOA! You okay man?!" Kellan asked dropping his own weights and sitting up swiftly. As he did a drop of sweat flew off and landed on Courtney's hand. With a quick glance to see if anyone was looking she lifted her hand up to smell it.

"I'M GOOD!" Meg exclaimed with a cough. "I was just um… trying these out." She said holding out the dumbbells to show him.

Courtney quickly put her hand back down to her side. "Yeah, she-"

Meg coughed a little too loudly.

"HE… he's just you know… one of those weight lifting freaks." She added with a nervous laugh.

Kellan's eyes shifted between the two of girls. "Right… well… be careful so you don't kill yourself dude."

"Right… yeah… cool, okay. I can do that." She agreed with a nod.

Kellan laughed and went back to lift the weights again.

Courtney, who never took her eyes off of Kellan, picked up a jump rope. She then stared down at it like she didn't know how it got in her hands. She looked up at Meg with a bit of fear in her eyes.

"Do something." Meg mouthed.

Courtney then lifted the rope over her head and let it fall awkwardly to the ground then stepped over it. Her eyes traveled back to Kellan and she continuously repeated the action.

"Court…ree… you might want to try the treadhill, huh?" Meg said loudly trying to get her attention.

"Treadhill?" Courtney asked looking back up at Meg with a confused look in her eyes.

"Mill!" She corrected, pointing her finger at it daintily, her hand pointed in a downward direction. "That thing." She noticed Kellan looking at her wrist and quickly straightened her arm. Then she dropped it and picked up a set of five pound dumbbells.

"OH! OH!… Yeah…" Courtney mumbled, walking over to it. Her eyes took in all the buttons and panicked. "So… I hear they're filming a movie in town…" She said trying to figure out which button to press.

"Yeah… something called, um… Not Quite Morning… something or other…"

Kellan looked up at the girls again with an incredulous look. "It's uh… called Twilight."

"YEAH! That's it!" Meg answered, still lifting the tiny weights. Courtney was still standing motionless on the treadmill staring at the buttons. "So, uh… you think it'll be any good man?"

"Yeah, I think it's gonna be awesome."

"Oh yeah?" Courtney asked pressing a random button. "How do you know? What are you in it or something?" The treadmill then started off at a fast speed and she had to run to keep up.

"Actually, I am in it…" He answered still lifting his weights, but looking at Courtney funny.

Meg stared at her friend and tried not to laugh, but a snicker escaped her lips. Kellan heard the girly hiss and looked over at her. "OH… uh… oh yeah?" She covered in her man-voice.

"Yeah… it's going pretty good."

"Sweet, man… sweet…"

Courtney could now feel the sweat beginning to form on her brow while running. She frantically began pressing more buttons but all that resulted in was it going faster. "THAT'S GREAT! AWESOME!" She nearly screamed with a pant running faster. "AMAZING!"

Kellan noticed her dilemma. "Um… do you need some help with that?"

"NO MAN! I GOT IT! I'M GOOD!"

Meg doubled over and gasped trying not to laugh and the dumbbell slipped from her grip, landing directly on her foot. "HOLY FRENCH TOAST!"

Kellan's eyes widened as he looked between the two, overly-dressed guys with suspicion. As the one with the weird beard and shoulder length hair hopped up and down holding his foot. And the other one, with the crooked moustache and mismatched socks ran faster on the treadmill.

"I'M SO…" Courtney panted. "GOOD!" She suddenly found the right button and turned the treadmill off. Her foot then slipped and she went flying backwards into the wall.

"HOLY SHIT!" Kellan yelled as he ran over to help Courtney to her feet.

"OH MY GOD!!" Courtney cried in a distinctly female voice. Her eyes traveled up to Kellan. "I mean… SWEET PUNTANG!"

Kellan, clearly confused, reached down to help her to her feet. "I guess you… guys… don't work out that often…" He said as she grasped to his sweaty muscley form.

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT! We do this shit for a living!" Meg exclaimed, manning up, and hitting herself in the chest, like she saw Courtney do earlier. Pain fluttered through her face as she rubbed at her chest.

"Uh… yeah. Sure you do." Kellan said taken aback. He then looked down to see Courtney still clinging to him and staring up at him. He leaned away a little bit.

Courtney quickly straightened up and leaned away from him, dusting her shirt off. "Oh, sorry man."

"So… this Twilight movie… thing. What's it, uh, about… you know? What's the down low?" Meg asked meandering over to the pull up bar.

Kellan again watched them both for a moment and then went back over to his bench to wrap his hands in cloth. "It's about vampires."

Meg grabbed the bar in a tight grip and then began to lift herself up but only by an inch of two before she dropped back down panting. "Oh… yeah…?"

Courtney looked between her two room companions and then swiftly kicked the treadmill, biting her bottom lip as she felt the pain, instantly regretting her decision.

"Yeah," Kellan began, getting up to walk over to the punching bag to start hitting it. "Basically this chick Bella falls for this guy Edward, who turns out to be a vampire."

The girls stared, impressed. Courtney leaned over onto the treadmill. "So… who do you, um, play?"

"I play Edward's kind of older brother Emmett." He said between punches.

"Yeah…" Courtney muttered with a dreamy nod, still staring at him. "I like Emmett…"

"I thought you didn't know what it was…" He said, turning slightly to face her.

"OH!" She exclaimed, straightening up. "I don't… I'm just saying… that's a good… solid name."

Meg rolled her eyes. "Well, uh, that sounds… pretty awesome dude." She then looked at Courtney and nodded towards him. "Let's get him" She mouthed.

Courtney looked over at Meg, then back at Kellan, and nodded slowly with a smile on her face.

Meg glared, annoyed at her friend and her attention span, then coughed to try to regain her attention.

Courtney then wandered dreamily to sit down on the bench directly behind Kellan.

Frustrated Meg began to wave her arms above her head to get her attention. Kellan caught a glimpse of her in the mirror and then turned to see. She then pretended to stretch. With another confused look he turned back to the punching bag.

"So yeah… it's gonna be good. Comes out in December. You guys should come check me out."

"Oh… I am…" Courtney said with a smile. Meg coughed long and deep. "WILL!" Courtney corrected in her deepened voice.

"RIGHT!" Meg jumped in. "So, uh, how about some tunes… fellas?" She said walking over to the stereo.

"Yeah, sure, sure…" Courtney nodded slowly. Meg was surprised that her friend wasn't drooling… yet anyway.

She reached the stereo and then quickly pulled a CD from her pocket and put it in, glancing around to see if either one noticed. "So how about this station…?"

As soon as she asked NSYNC began blaring from the speakers. "DIIIIIRTY POP! Sick and tired of hearing all these people talk about…"

Courtney turned to look with a smile on her face. Kellan stopped mid-punch and turned around in disbelief.

Meg's dancing soon stopped and she straightened up when she took in Kellan's incredulous face, then she walked over to the treadmill.

Courtney snickered and then leaned back on her elbows to finish watching Kellan. Kellan then turned his eyes to her, and she hurriedly leaned back and clapped her hands together. Stretching her fingers as she prepared to lift the weights.

"I can't believe they're still playing this crap on the radio…" Kellan muttered out loud as he went back to punching. But soon his quiet singing could be heard going along with the music.

"PFFFFFFT! I know! What is that about?" Meg asked trying to cover. "Need a spot there… bro?" Meg asked. She had walked over and was now standing above Courtney.

"Naw… I'm good." Courtney answered. Her eyes still focused on Kellan.

"Need. A. Spot?" Meg asked more forcefully.

"I said, I'm good."

Meg swiftly popped Courtney on the forehead. "HEEEEYEAAAH…. I guess…" Courtney cried her agreement.

Meg then leaned down. "OKAY! Now that the music is on, let's get him!" She whispered.

"Can't we just watch him some more?!" Courtney whined.

"Courtney! Why do I have to keep reminding you of our mission?! It was your effing idea in the first place!"

"FINE!" Courtney hissed, plucking Meg in the forehead.

Meg slapped at her hand and then stood up. She walked over behind Kellan whistling to the music, before he could even realize what was happening Meg jumped on his back, resembling that of a spider-monkey.

"HEY MAN! WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?!" Kellan exclaimed trying to steady himself.

"COURTNEY! QUICK!" Meg yelled holding on for dear life.

"HEY! I WASN'T READY!! You have to warn people before you do crap like that!" Courtney complained sitting up too quickly. She hit her head on the bar of the weight and fell back.

"COURTNEY!"

"OOOOW!!"

Meg, seeing that Courtney would be of no help at the moment, wrapped her arms and legs tighter around Kellan and then reached up to grab the sweatband off of her head and pulled it down over his eyes. "SON OF A… COURTNEY!!"

"GET THE HELL OFF OF ME, DUDE!" Kellan screamed swatting at Meg's hands.

"OW! I'M COMING!" Courtney called carefully sitting up. She inched her way off of the bench, swayed, then fell flat on her face.

"I CAN'T SEE!!" Kellan yelled.

"HAHA!" Meg laughed at his obviousness. But her laughter soon turned into a squeal of fear as Kellan tripped over Courtney sending them both sprawling.

Meg quickly recovered and jumped up, stumbling along and grabbed the jump rope to throw it at Courtney. "HURRY! Tie him up!"

Courtney caught the rope and crawled over on top of Kellan's body. "Hi…" She giggled stupidly. Kellan then reached up and yanked the moustache from Courtney's lip. "OWW!"

"HEY! YOU'RE NO DUDE!"

"YEAH?!" Courtney yelled back in pain. "AND YOU'RE NO GENIUS!"

"IT'S YOU!! GET OFF OF ME!!" He yelled in recognition, wrapping his arms around her in a vice grip.

"COME HELP ME!" She yelled to Meg, who casually leaned back against the Elliptical machine.

"Oh, I think you're doing a great job all by yourself…" She said with a snicker.

Courtney began to fight back against Kellan. Smothering her boobs, that had come a loose from their bandaged wrap in the struggle, into his face. Soon he rolled her over and was hovering above her. "OH MY GOD!" Courtney squealed, half elated, half scared.

"YOU CRAZY GIRLS!! What the hell is wrong with you two?"

Sensing the danger, Meg ran over and hit him in the head with her shoe. He then collapsed on top of Courtney.

"I. CAN'T. BREATHE. AND. I. DON'T. CAAARE!" Courtney choked out, wrapping her arms around him and snuggling close. Meg heaved and pulled Kellan's body from her grip. "NOOO! Put him baack!!"

"COURTNEY!!" Meg warned.

"DAMN IT!" She cursed getting up to help her.

The girls began to giggle as Meg wrapped the jump rope around his ankles and then up around his wrist so that he was curled into a balled up position. The sound of the door opening made the girls look up.

Mike walked in then. "CAUSE I WANT IT THAT AAAAAWAAAY!" He sang along badly to his iPod. The girls' eyes widened with confusion and frustration as they watched Mike mill around, putting down his towel and water bottle. They continued to watch as he set his setting on the treadmill then hopped on. His eyes widening as well, when he took in the sight of them hunched over Kellan. "Dudes… what's going on?"

"…..He fell down…" Courtney said with shifty eyes. "While he was jumping rope…"

"IT'S TRUE!" Meg yelled. "He got… uh… all tangled up and just fell man."

"Yeah that is EXACTLY what happened…" Courtney added with a nod. "We didn't do this at all."

"Yeah, dude… he just… fell…"

Mike continued to stare at them.

"…..Do you believe us?" Courtney asked after a long silence.

"No."

"Well… damn it." Meg muttered standing up straight.

"You take care of this…" Courtney muttered sitting on the bench next to Kellan's unconscious body.

"Right." Meg said, leaning down to take off her other shoe. "Sorry, buddy…"

"What?" Mike asked with an incredulous snort. "You're going to suffocate me with your stinky shoe?"

"No… I'm just going to pummel you with it." Meg said taking a step closer.

"Yeah… sure." Mike said with a raucous bit of laughter.

Meg scoffed at his brush off then sprinted across the room and knocked him upside the head.

Mike's laughter cut short. "HEY! WTF MAN?!"

"I TOLD YOU!" Meg yelled back in his face.

"YEAH! But I didn't believe--" But before he could finish his statement she smacked him again with the side of the shoe. "OW! DUDE!"

"USE THE HEEL!" Courtney advised.

But before Meg could use the advice Mike broke out into a run, circling the room. Meg followed right behind him, waving the shoe as she ran. But she wasn't watching where she was going, so she tripped over Kellan and went crashing to the floor. Mike dodged as Meg's hands reached out to grab his ankle.

"HURRY!" Courtney yelled, after she missed. Meg went to get up but slipped again. "OH FOR THE LOVE OF ROBERT'S BOXER SHORTS!" Courtney cried in frustration. She reached over and grabbed Mike's water bottle. "I GOT THIS MEG!" She yelled as she braced herself as Mike prepared to run by. She aimed the water bottle at him squeezing a little bit too hard. The bottle slipped from her hands and she received an icy water blast in her face. "AAAAAAAAAAARRRRGHHHHH! That shit is EFFING COLD!"

Mike turned to see the commotion and then tripped over the dumbbell that Meg had dropped earlier. Meg noticed and quickly threw herself at him, tackling him to the ground with an, "IIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! YOU'RE NEXT!" she growled. His eyes widened with fear as Meg's shoe came down, whacking him sharply with the heel. "GREAT!" Meg cried as she stood up. "Now what do we do with HIM?!"

Courtney waved her hand in a dismissal while she was still spluttering and coughing. "Meh… leave him. He'll be all right." She coughed out.

A mischievous look flashed across Meg's face and she reached into her pocket pulling out a tube of lipstick. She bent back down and smeared a bright pink gloss across his lips.

"WTF?! Why'd you do that?"

"To make him look pretty?" Meg said with a shrug. Courtney glared at her friend, water still dripping from her face. "WHAT?! It's FUNNY!" She said with a laugh as she took out her camera phone and snapped a picture.

"MEG COME ON! This dude weighs an effing TON!" She called out, smoothing her fingers over his muscles.

"COURTNEY! STOP GROPING HIM!"

"MEG! STOP MAKING HIM A PRINCESS! AND… I am not groping!" She sneered, grabbing his ass. "THAT is groping!"

Meg straightened up and marched over. "UGH! Thiiirsty!" She complained snatching up the water bottle.

Courtney eyed it wearily. "WTF man… I think I inhaled that water. I could have drowned."

"Only an idiot could drown from a water bottle." Meg laughed, squirting the water into her mouth, but she missed and it squirted in her nose, sending her to choking.

"HA!" Courtney laughed loudly. But her laugh as cut short as Kellan groaned.

The girls stopped to stare at him, waiting to see if he would wake up, but instead he rolled his head to the side and went back to sleep.

"WHEW!" Meg, released the breath that she had sucked in. "Okay!" She said with a clap of her hands. "Let's see what those weights have done!" She then bent over to lift Kellan by the shoulders, grunted loudly, and then dropped him.

"Nothing, apparently…"

"WOULD YOU SHUT UP AND HELP ME?!"

"Would you shuuut up and heeelp meee?!" Courtney mimicked.

Meg glared at her as they both picked him up, staggered and struggled to get to the door. "Wait!" She whispered as she peeked out the door to look for anybody out in the hall.

"Hurrrrry…" Courtney whined as she struggled with her grip on his legs.

"Shush!…. Okay!" Meg said when the coast was clear.

They tripped and trudged their way down the hallway. They finally made it to the elevator and pressed the button. They scoped out the hallways to make sure no one was around while they waited for it.

Courtney then noticed a busboy at the end of the hallway and dropped Kellan's legs to begin pressing the button harder.

"OOMPH!" Meg cried as she was lurched forward. "Courtney!" She hissed.

"Sorry!" She said turning to look behind her to see if the busboy noticed them. "You know, they REALLY need to work on these effing elevators."

Just then the elevator dinged and the doors opened. Courtney quickly grabbed his legs again and the girls shuffled him inside. Leaning him in the corner against the wall.

"WAIT!" Meg gasped, standing up straight and releasing Kellan. He drooped into Courtney's arms and she staggered from his weight.

"WTF?!" Courtney cried, lifting with all of her strength to push him back up to lean against the wall.

"I LEFT MY NSYNC CD!" Meg cried as she bolted from the elevator.

"WAIT! MEG!" Courtney called after her, stepping just outside the elevator doors.

"What?" Meg called, stopping to turn around.

"DUDE! You can totally get a new one."

"But that's a collector's edition." Meg whined.

"An NSYNC collector's edition?" Courtney asked skeptically.

"Okay… no…" Meg said kicking at the carpet. "But I really don't want to…. COURTNEY!"

"WHAT?!" Courtney exclaimed shock ripping through her as she jumped about a mile high. Then she head the elevator door ding and close, before she could catch it.

"DAMN IT COURTNEY!" Meg yelled running back towards the elevator.

"ME?! I'M NOT THE ONE RUNNING BACK FOR AN NSYNC CD!" Courtney argued.

"YOU WOULD TOO!"

"….. Yeah… I would." Courtney said after she thought about it.

"UGH! What floor is it going to?!" Meg wondered anxiously watching the numbers at the top.

"Look! Two… Wait! Now three… Four?!"

"Aw shit… It's stopping at every floor! QUICK! Let's head to five!"

The girls ran to the stairwell and took them up two at a time. By the time they got to the fifth floor they were sweaty and completely out of breath.

"I totally… better… get some… from this dude…" Courtney grumbled as they half fell through the door.

"Yeah… I know… right…" Meg countered.

The wind was knocked out of them both as they saw Peter and Elizabeth pulling a now conscious Kellan from the elevator. They quickly straightened up, afraid, and turned to walk in opposite directions. Meg noticed that Courtney wasn't beside her and quickly turned around to run off with her friend.

"Well, shit." Courtney sighed as they hurried to the opposite end of the hallway.

"I'm starting to think we're never going to get them."

"Yeah… me too…"

"Want to try for Peter next?"

"Sounds good to me."


End file.
